Patiently Being Here, Now.

I find myself overly sensitive to the people I trust. I'm uncertain why I trust them, as I often doubt my own intuition, fearing it is too cynical. However, intuition is not trained by my conscious mind, surely. At least hopefully it’s not. Patience is key. I must remind myself to be patient with myself and not focus too much on progress. Progress is a concept tied to both the past and the future. If I measure where I am in relation to progress I am always measuring myself by where I’m not. I’m creating a blind spot where presence should be, because I'm always looking around the now, never at the present. Remember this and apply it to whatever you do. Focus on what you’re doing now, not on why you decided to do it, and not on what your expected outcome is, because you are neither of those things. You are only what you're doing right now, what you're thinking right now and what your attention is on. Right now.

I often conceptualize myself in terms of the shape of the space I create in my surroundings rather than what exists within that space. I shouldn't be surprised that there is a human there, and I need to not try and relate to myself, but BE myself. You can only BE, in one place, and that is now. You cannot BE in the future and you cannot BE in the past.

Be where you are, be now and let your mind be active but only in the now. Make this who you’d like to be, a person in the moment.

Kate (a close friend of mine when I was a teenager) once referred to me as a "Moment Man," because I often became lost in any given moment.

But I am not lost in the moment; I am fully myself. If anything, I am found in the moment. Fully myself. She instilled in me a sense of cynicism when she warned that the world was going to disappoint me. But why should the world be or not be what I expect? I will be what I am, in the world, and the world may be what it is. The world is not a problem to solve.

You are not a problem to solve.