Taming Attention

Today I became distracted in new feelings and old patterns of need. I was worried and concerned about others well being and found myself making efforts to allay peoples fears and bring them good and positive messages. 

I believe this was an effort to try and generate the same thing for myself but I got lost in the feeling of making others happy, and so was I unproductive myself. The notion of making sure others are on is a distraction habit and I am realizing just how pervasive and effective my mind is at distraction and justification.

I lived slightly behind the day all day. The result was lazy outcomes and procrastination. Instead of riding and re-enforcing the strong energy of the start of my day, I let it peter out into a slow and meandering day, avoiding tasks that I could and should have accomplished. It’s not about productivity and results, it was more about broken consistency.

I can’t give my all too much. I need to really practice a sustained and continual pace instead of a stilted, hyperactive energy followed by a loss of momentum because I’ve rushed ahead and tried to outrace the day. Slow and steady must be my mantra, and more will come of that than frantic leaps of “inspiration” and sudden bursts of production. 

Maintain the now. 

Be energized but stay energized within and don’t pour it out so freely.

I am being harsh with myself so my mind and body understand the way that I must change, and not simply grasp to accept what is. Accept that progress is slow, but do not accept that no progress is needed. 

Do not repeat a recipe you know doesn’t work. Stay mindful and open to disturbing the old patterns of thought and behaviour, and when you see them, isolate them and point to them so your intention can know what to reprogram. 

My body must be an instrument of my will, not an active leader of my thoughts.

Scolding over.